Confidence is a key principle to success, without it we will NEVER reach our potential. Instead, we will be doomed to wading in the pool of mediocrity that is drowning business owners everywhere. And who in blue hell wants to be mediocre anyway?! How boring and passe! Now moving on to the entire point of this post. How do we as enterprising women start to have REAL confidence. Well here are the basics in 4 simple steps… notice, I said SIMPLE, not easy.
Step 1: Look fear in the eye, then give it the middle finger
I know that’s sounds kind of crass, but I needed to drive home a strong analogy for this one. Fear is such a big bully, you have to treat it like a hostile invader. Our goal here is to neutralize the threat. As women we often get so stuck with the feeling afraid and we never move to the position of applying logic to a scenario. So think about the worse thing that could happen, then come up with a contingency plan for it. If you can come up with a plan to survive your worse case scenario, then you will see that the fear with dissipate on it’s own.
Step 2: Stop comparing and competing with others
The disease of comparison is a parasite that eats away at your confidence. Every time you compare yourself to someone else and you feel you don’t measure up, you equate the perceived short-fall to failure. The feeling of being “less than” can often make us competitive in a negative way. That’s when we start to look for fault in others to make ourselves feel better. This behavior only leads to a false sense confidence that is easily shattered each time the success of another overshadows your own.
Rather than compare or compete, find a GOLD standard. Someone who is where you aspire to be. Then lay a well formulated plan to reach that standard for yourself. Once you have achieved that, then set a new standard. Your only REAL competition should be your ability to think BIGGER!
Step 3: Pull the trigger doggone it!
The best way to gain confidence is by winning at something. But you can’t win the race if you never start. Yes, it takes lots of training and preparation to run a road race, so lets start there. Yes, train your little patootie off, but you MUST have a day when you actually plan to run the race. I’m giving you permission to abandon the need to be perfect as perfection can easily be the obstacle to completion!
Step 4: Fail, Fail and then Fail AGAIN!
Another component in improving your confidence is your must be willingness to fail. It’s time to change your mindset to see failing as a learning opportunity. It’s your chance to change your strategy and try a new approach. Keep failing until you get it right. Your experience will be priceless not to mention the HIGH you will get once you actually find the right formula to success.
To circle back to what I said earlier. Gaining confidence is simple, but it’s not easy. You really have to be willing to put in the work and never let up!
Jai Stone – The Emotional Nudist/ Master Brand Coach