I’ve never been one to label myself as a feminist, mainly because I embrace many traditional gender roles. Yes, I’m all for equal pay and equal benefits, but I’m also happy to feel safe and well taken care of at the hands of my very masculine honey bunny. And most importantly I love that he finds value in all the things that make me distinctively female, especially my measured degree of modesty.
So when I see women with all manner of lady parts hanging out of their clothes, I wonder if they know! Do they know that we women are being systematically devalued by our society and the main contributors to that decline are the women themselves? I’m thinking how could they NOT know!! How could women not understand that Daisy Duke short-shorts were never meant to be a fashion statement, they were meant to drive TV ratings…after all Daisy isn’t even a real person. How could these scantily clad ladies not understand that peek-a-boo, stripper-girl outfits were meant to sell a service not capture his heart? How could all these women miss the fact that men who approach you because of your Facebook Freak Show have no concept (or concern) for their intrinsic value?
My guess is they don’t know. Because our society tells them that everything glamorous is also raunchy. Because women dressed like Beyonce’ and Lady Gaga get all the praise and media attention for their “sex on a platter” performances. But no one tells women that these are JUST performances. Women of today aren’t mindful of the fact that Rhianna is selling the fantasy, but not necessarily living it. And lets not forget how video vixens and porn stars are not only idolized, they are given GINORMOUS pay days for spilling all the secrets about who they have bedded and how many times. Did I mention how one strategically leaked sex tape can launch a very Kardashian lifestyle brand. With all of that hoopla, how could women know that they are the biggest culprits in their own demise?
Then we have the nerve to wonder why men no longer offer flowers and romance. Well why should they when they can get a lap dance at a backyard barbeque in exchange for a beer. Why should a fella incur the costs of dinner and dessert when they can have a “hook-up session” for the price of a Happy Meal, hell the $1 menu even. Is it any wonder at all that women no longer see our complete value?
Now naturally many men will disagree with much of what I say. After all they are the beneficiaries of free peep shows and unbridled access to freak-a-zoid grand central. But mock my words when I say, who they bed and who they marry is not always the same thing. Men often respect a woman based on his perception of her own SELF RESPECT.
If I go on, I might end up sounding preachy…so I will just get right down to the 7 things that we women do to diminish their own value.
- Freaky Pictures – posting freaky pictures on Facebook or texting illicit pictures to any Tom, Dick and Prince Harry is not the way to go. You never know where these images will end up or how they will affect you down the line. I recommend you reserve those kinds of things for men that are a permanent fixture in your life, not you boyfriend of 60 days.
- Homemade Porno Movies – for the same reasons as above, but tack on to the fact that one day your kid might get a hold of one of your self directed films… now THAT would be quite the show and tell at kinder-care.
- Over Sexualized Clothing – I’m all for being sexy and even showing a little skin. But at least 85% of your lady parts should be left to the fellas imagination. Make him work for it, he will appreciate that and you all the more.
- Public Dirty Talk – I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been in mixed company and heard a woman talk about how good she is at giving BJs… “What the What!!”. I’m thinking “she just auditioned for a one night stand!”
- Wearing the Pants – At the very core of their DNA men need to be needed. Its important to surrender your independence and replace it with INTER-dependence. Be vulnerable enough to need him but strong enough to support him. Could be a fine line, but practice makes perfect.
- Forgetting To Be Feminine – Just the things that are innately feminine can draw a man like a bee to honey. Sparkly, shiny colorful girly things go a long way towards reminding a man that you are to be cherished. Kindness and compassion are some seeds that bear great fruit on the battlefield of love.
- Vying for Attention – I see women compete with their own daughters and sisters to get attention and validation from men. They go to great lengths to feel desired, not realizing their tactics will only create a temporary fulfillment rather than a permanent husband.
- …wait, I said 7. Whew! Got carried away!!
Ladies, STOP IT I say!! Stop selling your selves down a river of degradation for the price of a few slick compliments strategically aimed at getting you to drop your draws. Stop defining yourself solely by how many men follow you on Instagram! Stop verbally backhanding your sistas in order to find your own value. Stop the being comfortable being treated like his homey rather than his honey. And please for the love of gawt, stop setting your nasty-meter on high for men that you aren’t married to.
Welp, I already know I”m going to hear about this one. BRING IT! Hit me on Twitter @JaiStone and lets get the conversation started.