I’m going to take a wild guess about why you clicked the link to read this post. It’s probably because you are overwhelmed with trying to figure out how to make your business life and personal life work together without going ape sh*t crazy, right?! About 4 years ago, I was right where you are. That was until I discovered a process that changed the way I live and work. I call it The Honest Model (TM), and I’m going to share it with you. But first let me tell you WHY I discovered the process in the first place. Buckle up, this post is a bit longer than usual, but I swear it’s worth it!
I QUIT MY LIFE
Once upon a time, (well actually about 4 years ago), I woke up to a scary realization, I hated by job! That was a very sobering thought since I’m an entrepreneur. I suppose to be more specific, I hated my business. I mean really, what kind of crap is that?! I had been in business for nearly 10 years and somehow I managed to create a business model that I had grown to hate. Yeah, business was lucrative, yada, yada, yada… but I was still depressed at the thought of stepping into my office every day!
I was spending most of my work day doing things that I hated, working with people who didn’t value my expertise and networking in organizations that viewed me as a perpetual outsider. And then there were the never-ending demands of my personal life that always seemed to creep into my traditional work hours and reek major havoc on my production schedule. What can I say, things were pretty sh*tty! In a nutshell, I just wasn’t winning at life, and I wanted to quit! So that’s what I did… well sorta.
I FOUND MY HAPPY
I thought the quick fix was to simply take a long vacation. Welp, that vacay turned into an extended hiatus that lasted for 3 years. Yes, you read correctly, 3 years! I simply checked out of my unhappy life and spent the first year discovering all the things that made me happy. I took a few small projects here and there to keep myself afloat, but I would end them quickly and once again retreat to my “happy space”.
But it didn’t take long to find out that only doing what made me happy didn’t make me nearly enough money! I also discovered that the things that made me happy didn’t really make the people in my life very happy at all. Former clients were angry with me for leaving them “high and dry”, colleagues chastised me for walking away from a “gold mine” and my family was flatout “confused about my decisions”. So I found myself being pressured over and over again to go back to doing what I hated. Repeatedly I heard:
- “But you’re so good at it, it’s your gift” (It was a skill set, not a gift. And even if it was a gift, it wasn’t my calling.)
- “Well what am I suppose to do if you quit”? (Same thing you would you would do if I dropped dead!)
- “I’ve never seen anyone run from money, but clearly you don’t need any” (Ohhh, the manipulation tactics…)
- “So how will you earn a living?” (Well, I’m lucky enough NOT to be a one-trick pony.)
Here’s the thing, people can be are incredibly selfish and often times they place what they want from you at a much higher value than what you want to give. It didn’t matter how passionately I explained that I hated this specific work. It didn’t matter how vehemently I objected and how much I ranted, the same people continued to hound me for work over and over. If they felt there was the slightest chance I might give in… they wouldn’t stop asking. So it was up to ME to prioritize my own needs. And that’s just what I did.
I GOT REALLY HONEST!
I spent some much needed time deciding EXACTLY how I wanted my life to operate. That meant taking an HONEST look at my life and making some tough decisions. That meant setting serious boundaries with the people in my life. That also meant prioritizing my own happiness. I think that was the hardest part. You see, I’m an over-giver, so I had always placed my own happiness as a last concern. Over the next two years, I made some significant changes in my life and in the end, I had created business and lifestyle that I loved. So I’m going to share with you 4 ways I was able to do that.
- DO what makes you happy AND makes you money – When you’ve been unhappy for a long time, it’s easy to make the mistake of going into happiness overload. I made the mistake of getting so caught up in my “happy fog” that I didn’t focus much on profits. When the fog cleared, I still had bills to pay. So it’s important that what makes you happy should also make you money.
- Prioritize your own needs – Bump what you’ve heard, it’s good to be selfish sometimes. Particularly when you’re an over-giver. Your happiness is your responsibility, think long and hard about it and commit to it!
- Do what works! – Doing business the traditional way doesn’t work for many folks. I know it didn’t for me. In addition to living on the outskirts of the city. I am also an extreme introvert. I don’t wish to spend all my time in meetings, commuting or at networking events. That simply doesn’t work for who I am and how I live. Thus I create quite a chuck of my income from online classes and strategy coaching over the phone. It’s what works for me.
- LEARN to say no without apologies or explanation. This is the filing in my jelly doughnut right here! So many times I felt like saying no was a bad thing. I felt guilty for not giving people what they wanted from me. I thought it was “bad service”. But the truth is, that doing what I hated meant that I wasn’t giving it my best and THAT was the bad service.
As I stated earlier, I’ve been able to create the lifestyle that I want, attract the kind of clients that I love and generate the revenue that I need. Read more about The Honest Model (TM) and let me help you design a business and lifestyle that you love.
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Taylor says:
Great post and advice! When I started freelancing full time this summer I made a wrong business turn that made me miserable.
Reevaluating is so important. And it’s okay to make changes that not everyone understands. Can’t wait to read more of your work!