Note: This post was featured in it’s entirety on Essence.com
Ladies, have you ever been awakened with something in your spirit and you just had to act on it? Well, that is precisely how this blog post came about. I’ve been itching to dive into this topic for a while, and I suppose the start of 2014 is as good a time as any to publicly proclaim that I am NOT a hater.
I’m tired of people labeling others as “haters” whenever they don’t agree with you. Having a strong opinion buys you a sentence to the Haterville community prison and the only way to get out is to co-sign someone else’s crap. Err, I can’t agree with that.
Since hater-labeling has become such a popular pastime, I decided to look up the definition for more clarification. According to UrbanDictionary.com, a hater is “a person that simply cannot be happy for another person’s success.” Hmm, that doesn’t sound like anything me or most people that I know and associate with would do. However, I am one who believes we must all be accountable for our actions – the good and bad.
Let’s take a look at the recent situation with D. Wade and his baby mama drama. I’m sure that I’m not the only one who turned a suspicious side eye to his whole “I got another woman pregnant while we were on a break” story. Initially I kept my opinions to myself because I instinctively knew that any statement that did not support Dwayne’s questionable conquest would have me supposedly sipping on hatorade. After refraining from commenting on the topic for most of the day, I finally posted my frank and honest opinion. Just three comments later I had already been christened the grand master of the hater parade. Ugh, how annoying!
It was said that my supporters and I did not want people to be happy. Now I’m confused as to how my opinion on what, to me, appeared to be an untruth, could doom the happiness of a couple that I had never met. After all, I’m all about healthy Black love.
In fact, I am the founder of the Black Love Forum, a brand I founded specifically to spotlight healthy black love. Shux, I want everyone to be happy when it comes to matters of love. However, the truth is, sometimes what makes a person happy isn’t always healthy.
By now I’m sure a few “hater flingers” are saying, “Dwayne and Gabrielle’s relationship is really none of your business, Jai.” Well I can’t disagree with that; it’s not. But, neither is their happy home life or the size of that engagement ring, but the couple was happy to plaster those images over the Internet too. Yep, that was none of my business either. My personal belief is that if you don’t want negative opinions, then don’t seek positive ones because you can’t predict other people’s opinions.
When did we become a society that can’t tolerate disapproval or disagreement? Shoot, being called to the carpet (many, many times) gave me some of the best lessons of my life. I think it’s a shame that we are expected to gleefully buy into fiction fairytales and foolishness or forever be crowned the ruler of Haterville. Like I said, I’m not a hater. I just won’t co-sign your mess, and that’s my business too.
Jai Stone – The Emotional Nudist
Due to popular requests, I have created a shareable graphic featuring this blog title. You can also get the Facebook cover here!.
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